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WE ARE PLEASED
TO ANNOUNCE
LUTHERAN AIR IS NOW
OPERATING FROM DULUTH AIRPORT
YA SHURE, YA BETCHA!
DIS IS DA LATEST AIR
SERVICE TO SPROUT UP IN MINNYSOTA.
ALSO SERVING VISCONSIN,
NORT AND SOUT DAKOTA.
If you are travelin soon,
consider Lutran (Lutheran) Air, da no-frills
airline. You're all in da
same boat on Lutran Air, where flyin is a upliftin
experience. Dere is no
first class on any Lutran Air flight.
Meals are
potluck. Rows 1-6, bring rolls; 7-15, bring a salad;
16-21, a main dish,
and 22-30, a dessert.
Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of da aircraft.
Everyone is
responsible for his or her own baggage. All fares are by
free will offereing and da plane will not land 'til da
budget is
met.
Pay attention to
your flight attendant, who will acquaint you wit da
safety system aboard dis Lutran Air 599.
Okay den, listen
up. I'm only gonna say dis von.
In da event of a sudden
loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly going to be
real surprised and
so vill Captain Olson, because we fly right around
two tousand
feet, so loss of cabin pressure would probably mean da
Second
Coming or something of dat nature, and I wouldn't bodar
with doze liddle
masks on da rubber tubes.
You're gonna have bigger tings to worry about den dat.
Just stuff doze back up in dair little holes. Probably
da masks fell out because of
turbulence which, to be
honest wit you, we're going to have quite a bit of at
two tousand
feet, sort a like driving across a plowed field, but
after a
while you get used to it.
In da event of a
water landing, I'd say forget it.
Start saying da Lord's
Prayer and just hope you get to da part about
forgive us our
sins as we forgive doze who sin against us, which some
people say
"tresspass
against us," which isn't right, but what can you do?
Da use of cell
phones on da plane is strictly forbidden, not because
day may
confuse da plane's navigation system, which is seat of
da pants all
da way. No, it's because
cell phones are a pain in da wazoo, and if God meant
you to use
a cell phone, He would have put your mout on da side of
your head.
We start lunch
right about noon and it's buffet style with da coffee
pot up
front. Den we'll have da hymn sing; hymnals are in da
seat pocket in front
of you. Don't take yours
wit you when you go or I am going to be real upset
and I am
not kiddin!
Right now I'll
say Grace. "Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest and let deze
gifts to us be blessed.
Fadar, Son, and Holy Ghost,
may we land in Dulut or pretty close.
Amen!" |
